Oh, So Random

Friday, May 12, 2006

It's one of those typical slightly unlucky days that makes me lament in a low whiny tone "Why Me?" I've had my fair share of those days, and this is probably one of them, so before I go into the next day with my fresh spritely attitude am just going to complain a bit about today.

~

Was going to teach Jason as per normal today, and was actually pretty pleased with myself as I got to the mrt station quite early so I'd likely be able to walk leisurely to Jason's place when I reached Marsiling.

Unfortunately, there was an mrt train fault so I ended up waiting about ten minutes for nothing. When I finally got the confirmation from the station master that the train was unlikely to come as yet I was forced to leave the station and find another way to get to Marsiling.

I was really in a tizzy cos from expecting to be early I was doomed to be really late. No choice, I flagged a taxi, hopped on and called Jason to inform him that I'd be a bit late and apologise.

And guess what is the thing that made this a horrible day?

When I called him he actually told me that he forgot about today's session and wanted it postponed. There I was all anxious and worried that I'd be late and I was prepared to spend the money to go there in a cab and he simply just brushed me off. Am not sure why I never ever shouted at him for his antics, he's made such last minute cancellation requests for more than just once. A few times I've already made my way there but he cancelled last minute cos he forgot. I don't know why I wouldn't just give up. I put in my all and all he does is play on his computer. Why do I even bother?!

Sigh... I guess I can't really call this a bad day. It's probably so bad just cos I'm terribly frustrated with Jason and his attitude towards his schoolwork. I wish he'd take his work more seriously and not just badger me to give him my gaming account or the mystic cane for free.

I'm getting seriously worried about him and his studies. He is spending far too much time playing and wheedling away all his time.

I wish, really wish he would one day grow up and be more sensible. Guess this is really my retribution. This must be how my teachers felt; frustrated and unhappy and worried.

Sigh again... There's really nothing much I can do for him. I'm graduating this June and soon enough I may not be able to teach him any longer. I wish for the best for him but everything in the end is all up to him...

I scribbled at ;; 7:45 AM

Monday, May 08, 2006

Tian you bu ce zhi feng yun, ren you dan xi huo fu...

That was what buzzed around my head for the whole day yesterday after I received the news from Peixuan about Uncle.

It was totally unexpected. Jiahui, Peixuan and I had just met up sometime around last month due to such circumstances as well. Wang Bin lao shi had passed away then. Never had I expected that this time, we are to meet in such circumstances again...

Life is so... fragile. According to Peixuan, it was only a matter of 3 weeks. Uncle passed away early on Saturday morning due to advanced cancer. He must have been suffering for quite a long time before he finally went to get a checkup done. May his soul rest in peace. May he look upon his family and bless them from up high in heaven...

My deepest condolences and regrets to Peixuan. There was really nothing that I could have helped you with but if you ever need a shoulder to rest on, you can count on me... Take care dear...

I scribbled at ;; 3:05 PM

Saturday, May 06, 2006

*Warning! You may not understand what I'm saying here but that may be for the best ya? ;p*

A promise is a promise, no matter how long ago we made it, so when called upon to fulfill a promise I made sometime around the year that I turned 21 I just went ahead and did it. The experience was interesting, to say the least. I was embarrassed yet not utterly so, worried yet relaxed. The only thing that could have signified how anxious I was was probably my sweaty palms. I was clutching the towel tightly in my hands the whole time.

It's all my own fault really. They had some sort of promotion for newcomers so when asked if I wanted it all to go I just told her to go ahead. I'm not sure I'm regretting that yet but ya, it's really quite weird.

It's now 2 days after the fact that I was plucked like a chicken and I still am unused to the new me (not really new me la hor, I'm just exaggerating). I somehow feel a bit like a bare-assed monkey (or should I say chicken? Pig?).

It's weird how such a small change can make me feel quite different. In some sense, it made me feel a little bit more... vulnerable... and fragile. Hmm... Like I lost a part of me that had always been there. Strange how one gets attached to something as inconsequential as hair...

Not sure if I'd ever go back again but if I do go back, I'd probably not go for everything. It's kind of reassuring to have something left...

I scribbled at ;; 3:30 AM