Hehe, have been procrastinating this for a real long time ya? Thought to post the fav pics I had of one of the previous outings with Jialing and Jiahui. The pictures are, as usual, courtesy of our very own artist and world class photographer, Miss Wan Jialing! ;) Really been meeting Jialing a lot more this year, I hope we can continue to meet up often!
Hey, wait a minute, this was taken on the day I passed my driving test!!! I didn't even remember that we met on that day!
Think I was so grateful that the tester was amazed and kind of shocked by the gratitude I was showing.
Definitely one of those wonderful and relaxing days that I can look back and smile at. Cheers me up quite a bit thinking of the day I finally gained some success, hahhahaha...
p/s Had to resize the pics a bit, hope the faces don't look too squashed up..........
Some of my friends who have known me long enough will know that sometimes, I'm really a very kapoh person, I want to know everything, the head and tail of it all... Now, what I wish to know is where did I fail?
Was it in the first interview, where I had differing opinions about what motivates me? Was it in the second interview where I mentioned that I wasn't so confident about my image and would have to do something about it if I were to work frontline? Maybe it's cos I kept crossing my legs at the bottom? Or probably cos I kept saying 'actually' in the beginning cos I was nervous? Or maybe I had lost from the beginning when I faltered during the phone interview? Was it the minimum pay I asked for? Or is it the worst of it all, my results. Could it be that?
Of all the things that I could have improved or controlled, the school that I've come from and the results I have achieved there is something I can never change and can never improve. It's the one thing I'd have to face and not be able to brave it through.
I wish they had given me a chance.
I never knew how much I wanted the job until I lost it. The whole of last night I tossed and turned in sleep, dreaming about going up to HR and having my interviewer give me a second chance. I woke up at 6 and started to pray for a miracle. I wished that maybe someone decided to reject the job and I may be the second in line to take it up. I'm so very confident that I could do well in this job that it kills me that they have not given me the chance to try. While I can say that it is their loss, I feel that it is my loss too.
I kept thinking, could I have, at any point, fixed this? Was there anything that I'd done that was not acceptable. Cos if that were the case I'd be able to accept this better. Except I can't think of anything that I did that was detrimental enough. Perhaps I just wasn't confident enough, or maybe I just wasn't what they wanted. They'd rather take in new people who have never been in the line before than to take me in. It goes to show how unsuitable they think of me...
I think I again realised something new about me. I realised how full of pride I am, and I realised that no matter what I portray of myself I am actually confident of myself. So confident perhaps, that somewhere deep inside me I held great hopes of getting this job, very great hopes. Now that I've received THE LETTER though, all that is left is a deep regret and the greatest disappointment......
I wonder if this failure could be compared to the time when I failed my driving test for the first time? Then I had been very upset, both for myself and for my instructors. I felt that I'd failed them when they have been so conscientiously teaching me to become the best driver I can be. Now I feel that I have failed myself. Whatever it is that I did that brought about this failure, I was the cause of it. I can attribute my failure to no one but myself. I realised that I truly dislike failure. I don't hate it cos it happens all the time in life but I genuinely DISLIKE it. It makes me cry......
For the past week I had been carrying this hope, probably visible to friends and family, while I lied to myself that I wasn't hopeful at all so that I can buoy myself should I really not be selected. In the end, the buoy didn't work, cos beneath it all I was the eternally hopeful candidate, believing that I'd done well enough for them to consider me worthy...
I'm still hopeful to a certain extent, I pray for a miracle, I want to be the best damn CSO that they have ever had but that will never come true if they don't hire me...
And I was already thinking of myself as a member of UOB already too......
How foolish...
I can't believe it, at the back of my mind I simply thought I'd just try it and see how it is and here I am, going for the interview. This is so... frightening and exciting! I think I frightened myself into getting my period.....
Ignore the last statement above ya? The jist of it is that I am really going for an interview, now, for a job I applied for. Gee... And I really quite wanted to get this job too. I can't believe it!!!
ARGHHHH!!!!!! What if I mess up?!
Think I already did, to a certain extent. When she called and asked for me to do a roleplay for a certain scenario, I screwed up!!! I went quiet for about a minute and didn't know what to do, I never thought she'd give me a chance after! I'm going for an interview this Thurs!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Ok, enough with the screaming.... I must breathe, deep and long, in and out..... In and out....
Now after this phone interview I realised I really know very little about UOB Bank, I addressed the bank as HUA QIAO YIN HANG when they were DA HUA YIN HANG!! OMG! I can't believe it! I wasn't even sure that they had an outlet in OUB. Dear God, I better do my research before I go into that interview or I'd be so embarassed... Wish me luck, I REALLY need all the luck I can get...You Are Strawberry Ice Cream 
A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core.
You often find yourself on the outside looking in.
Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works.
You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.
~Your Lucky Underwear Is Red 
You're confident and bold, and your lucky red underwear will only make you more sure of yourself.
You have a great zest for life, and you tend to take on impossible goals - and succeed.
When it comes to love, it's hard for you to take the time to open up. You're too busy conquering the world.
So if you're looking for a little more romance, put on your red underpants. And see where their passion takes you!
~The Keys to Your Heart 
You are attracted to obedience and warmth.
In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.
Your risk of cheating is high. You can't resist desire and lust.
You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.
~What Your Sleeping Position Says
You are calm and rational.
You are also giving and kind - a great friend.
You are easy going and trusting.
However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.
~Your Dosha is Kapha 
Calm and grounded, you are not prone to mood swings or anger.
However, once you do get angry, it takes a lot to cool you down.
You tend to think a little slower than most people, but your logic is astounding.
Overall, you very loyal and trustworthy. You're not scared of being who you really are.
With friends: You enjoy their company, but often listen more than talk
In love: You crave connection and affection. It's hard for you to be single.
To achieve more balance: Exercise vigorously (especially in the sun) and let go of attachments.
~
Ok, I was thinking either this...Your Personality Profile 
You are sexy, powerful, and bold.
You're full of passion and energy...
Sometimes this passion has a dark side.
You feel most alive when you're seducing someone.
You never fail to get someone's attention.
Quick minded, you're also quick to lose your temper!
or this...Your Personality Profile 
You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.
You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!
Hmm... interesting, guess which was my first choice and whether I thought it was accurate?
Think I'm spending too much time doing these tests, but it's really quite interesting, no?You Are Miss Piggy 
A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it.
You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less.
You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way.
Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift!Your Seduction Style: Au Natural 
You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.
You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?
You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.