Oh, So Random

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Never believe me if I ever claim that I don't suffer from PMS. It's true though, that my version of it is unlike how it's like for most others. My kind of PMS is much like my brother's case, little fits of emotional imbalance. The only difference is that I TRY to limit it to only once a month so that I may have a somewhat legitimate reason for being in a hissy fit.

Ok, ok, I'm just kidding alright? I apologise, my brother does not suffer from PMS, he's just perpetually stern. ;p

And the reason I'm writing all this nonsense? Think it's my unstable state of mind. Been rather down recently and given to states of irritability. Maybe it's the confusion and the worries I've been having about my future and what I ought to make of it, or it could be all the different forms of sometimes conflicting advice I'd been given, or it could just be self torture. I realised I can really be very unforgiving to myself. Sigh... If only everything can work out the way one wants it to be in life. I've even been desperate enough to secretly wonder if I should have taken up the advice of my boss and pursue a lifelong career in teaching...

Nevertheless, no regrets here, said I didn't want to join MOE and mean it exactly as I said. Kids nowadays give teachers too much grief, and the admin, god the admin work definitely doesn't help. Can only try and try again and take on the motto: Never Give Up!

Treated Dequan to a birthday buffet dinner last Sat night. A part of me really wished I could have treated him to something better. I knew, that for the sake of my coffers he'd chosen something more affordable but I would really rather pay more to give him a really great birthday dinner you know? Felt a bit helpless that as a Sis I couldn't even give him a wonderful treat. He even thanked me you know, thru sms. My Ma always liked to say that he's much like my father but I'd say he's very different, very different indeed. My brother, the stern and serious one, could be soft-hearted and affectionate too. That, plus the fact that he's much more reasonable than my father.

Now if only Ma can appreciate a good Japanese meal I would have taken them to Kuishinbo. Went there with Kiahui and Peixuan the last time and I really enjoyed the meal. The company was great and the food was delicious, I had such a wonderful impression of the place that I kept mentioning it on Sat. So much so that Dezhi asked me what's my obsession with the place. I don't know, maybe cos it has better lighting and better food? Got chance and got ppl who are interested enough must definitely go there again!

Was a tad sulky and in a bitchy mood on Sat, poor Dequan, it was his birthday and yet I was so snitty. I hope he wasn't badly affected by me. I tried to lock it in, not sure how much of it showed. It was a compounded kind of bad mood, brought on by crowds of people and silly SMRT people who send trains away right when we most need them. They should really take care to improve their quality of service instead of moving in the opposite direction.

Eyes are suddenly very tired though it's not late at all. Should leave this alone now, have said my piece for the day.

I scribbled at ;; 8:10 PM