Oh, So Random

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Sometimes I really can't understand why my brother and I can get into such quarrels with each other over something as inane as ordering the food for dinner. I don't get him, why is there the constant need for him to feel 'fair' in the sense that someone else has to go and order other than him. Can't we all be self-sacrificing angels every once in awhile. And even when there already is a self-sacrificing angel to do the dirty work he doesn't stop, does he have to be so self-righteous?!

We were going out to have dinner as a family before Zhi has to book in for the week. I really wasn't particularly hungry cos I had a late lunch but I really wanted us to have dinner together you know, afterall we seldom get the chance to sit down and eat together, less so now that Zhi is in the army.

Learnt from Zhi that it was Han, our cousin's birthday so I got his no from Quan and wrote him a Happy Birthday msg. Didn't quite expect him to reply as he did really. He sounded a little pessimistic to me and the vibe was that he didn't really much get to enjoy his birthday.

While my Ma and bros were discussing on what to eat I was simply focussed on the msg I just received and I hardly even heard what they wanted to eat. All that I knew next was that I was expected to go do the ordering. Now, of course you can say that part of the issue here was that I was being lazy and not wanting to move but really, from my viewpoint I really have sufficient reasons you know!

There I was trying to send my cousin a uplifting and encouraging reply, I was just trying to focus on doing that. Anyone with have any skills of observation at all would have noticed that I was occupied and that I wasn't 'there' at all the whole time they were discussing. Given that I was occupied and my brothers weren't I thought it shouldn't be a problem for them to go order but Quan just had to build a mountain out of a molehill.

He accused me of just sitting there, not wanting to order. It was the most ridiculous and ironic statement I've heard seeing that he was doing exactly the same thing. Like Zhi said, we were just being plain lazy and not willing to move.

From my side of things I really didn't know what was I to order and I hadn't even finished writing my msg yet. I was trying to console and encourage my cousin all at the same time and given that I am such a slow typer it really does take me some time to compose the msg.

In the end, Zhi, the saviour went to order and still he wasn't pleased and kept trying to chew me out. Come on! I wasn't just trying to make excuses, this is a small thing, it doesn't take him or me a lot of effort, and it had already been done by my self-sacrificing brother. I just don't get why he needed to harp at it and rag at me and say things like "You think I like to eat with you, I wouldn't if you're not my family" and such.

What is this? Just cos of such a small thing he has to start on personal attacks. I f he would just open his eyes he would know I was occupied with something, I didn't even bother to think of a drink I wish to have, just ordered as the others have. Why can't he be a bit more perceptive and probably a bit more gentlemanly? He is not obligated to order food but neither am I. I don't know what makes today so special and I don't get why he can't see that I wasn't trying to shrug it off, though I do loathe to always be asked to do the ordering.

Maybe cos I'm the eldest I'm always the one to be asked to do the ordering. I don't quite mind it so much but cos of the principle of the matter I would sometimes get them to do it. Won't do for them to have the habit of always getting others to order for them. Really worried that when they get girlfriends out of habit they would also ask them to do the ordering while they wait on to be served.

Our family works in a really queer way. My Mum never orders cos she's the queen and the rest of the family used to depend on me to do it. The excuse was that they didn't know how to. Now that they are older, we all know perfectly well that we are all capable of ordering. Now the only thing I wonder about it, does it hurt for him to order this once when he should be able to see that I'm doing something?!

And I did point it out to him, even though it was in a belligerent way after he started accusing me. I was more than upset, I didn't even need to be there to be chewed out and after Zhi went to order I just wanted to keep quiet and get my msg finished but like an old hag he just went on and on about how nasty it was to eat with me.

Forget it, I wasn't hungry anyway, no need to stay there and be subjected to such malice. I simply hijacked out of there without even finishing my drink.

My point is, after years of being the Amah in the family when my brothers were younger, is it that much of a torture for them to do it for once. Imagine if when I was in Primary or even Secondary school I had said to the little tot, "I ordered the last time, you should do it now." It wouldn't have been fair would it? And I know that is what is running through his mind, he had ordered once upon a time the last we ate out and so this time someone else other than him should do it and for some reason I have to be the designated person to do it. Apparently this has got to do with my figure also, cos I'm fat I should be the one to order, what?!!

Sometimes I wonder, should I then say, I ordered for so many so many times since we were in Primary school and so now you should compensate for the difference in the times I have provided you with such a service. Does it make sense to anyone?

What a jerk...

I scribbled at ;; 7:28 PM